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bjaded
10 August 2008 @ 08:50 pm
colds can be amusing.  
So, R and I went to a house party yesterday - it wasn't a very entertaining party... as far as parties go, it was a bit on the awkward side. (doesn't party just sound so 60s? anyway, I digress). And it was rather cold... and we parked a bit far away coz the house was on the main street - and it was drizzling, so I had to run through the rain.

I had a good chat with someone new... well newish - coz I know of her... she's the partner of one of R's friends.. and the impression she has always given off is well... a bit snobby. But she was actually lovely - a lot older than the most and I got along great with her, so I spent most of the night ensconced in a corner chatting with her. Which leads me to  the reintroduction of the thought that I get along better with older people - not old old, but older than me... I think I'm just on an older-than-my-age wavelength. She was quite lovely - I hadn't had quite pleasant thoughts or perspective of her, but I have since changed my mind.  She would be someone I would like to get to know better - but that's just not going to happen, I think.

Anyway, we had to run back into that cold to get to the car - and it was still raining... and I had spent most of hte night nuzzling a rather large goblet of red wine and chatting to someone in a rather loud house party - so needless to say, my voice was toast. I sounded like I had smoked 10 packets of cigarettes.

So, this morning, I had the serious case of the snuffles. I was blocked, I couldn't breathe - and I wanted to do was to get it OUT.

So I lie there as best as I can trying to wait it out, or just go back to sleep - until I realised there was no avail. If I wanted relief, I was going to have to blow. So I try it quietly. Nothing happens. I snort louder, and louder - until I am trumpting on my side of the bed, and I sound like a very sick duck crossed with a rather loud, large baby elephant.

Now, this is something you probably have to be there for to find this funny - or at the very least, hear how I sounded.

... but I heard how I sounded - and needless to say, I got the serious case of the giggles. I alternate between giggling and doing my duck-trumpet... at which point R turns and gives me the sleepiest, amused-crossed-with-the oh no, she's gone nutty again look, which of course, sets us both off into more giggles - and an encore of my duck-elephant-trumpet.

A good way to start sunday morning.
 
 
Current Mood: amused
 
 
bjaded
10 August 2008 @ 08:41 pm
An Update.  
So there is more than one post - there may be a series... but I haven't quite decided yet.

I suppose it depends how long I can sit here for before I get too restless.

Apart from my lake house update - what else has been happening?

1) Work: I worked from home all week this week - things are busy and then not at the same time... it got busy, but it's back to being a bit quiet, and I'm thinking that I should enjoy it because it doesn't last long here! It doesn't help that I'm in an work area that consists of three people, including the manager! Hopefully we'll get a few more people around. I spent most of the last month working with consultants - and while it was great, and I think I'll miss working with them, at the same time I was a little put out that I was doing a lot of work for them - a lot of work that they will profit from and recycle... even though it's not suppose to happen. I expected a lot from them... and I was surprised. It was great to work with people who were a lot closer in my age - I worked really closely with T, one of the consultants - so it was nice to have someone to talk stuff to... work, boys, food. Not that I couldn't do so with the manager or the other person I work for - but it's different. They're in different places to me. Plus, it's just nice to have someone to tease and giggle with.

This leads me into a paragraph about journeys. There have been a few things cropping up regarding moving on from this job - it's not that I don't like where I am... it's more like T said to me: "You're like me, you're restless... you're always looking". And I guess I am. And maybe that's my life goal - to actually try and be still for awhile (this reminds me of a fanfic - Butterfly, Kate?) ... I did start pilates... does that help? Anyway, I'll get back to that one in a bit. So there has been a few things that have cropped up - bellskno that have called (can I be any more ambiguous?) ... and so far, things are still in motion. Or rather, maybe I'm not ready to go yet - so things are at a pause. I dunno. I haven't reconciled if I believe in fate, and one's destiny and all that - but I'm really starting to believe that well, the journey where I am is not quite over. My gut tells me it'll be sooner than I think - but hmm. Not quite yet. Hence why things haven't clicked into place for all the otehr opportunities just quite yet.  I was a bit superstitious about saying anything out loud (maybe lj doesn't count?) but I am starting to believe it's more this than anything. Still, it doesn't stop me searching.

And, sad as it is to say it, I'm always searching. It's not that I'm particularly unhappy, or discontent, or anything - I just can't help myself! I take great satisfaction in the fact that I was lead along this path in the industry I am in for material reasons - and yet, I find myself right back in the path I wanted to be in... writing. Now, it's not the writing I would rather do, but, it's amusing at the same time. See, sometimes you can't escape destiny. (God, did I just type that out loud???) R says I stress too much - and yeah, I worry. I can't help it. Second nature? I know it's not particularly conducive to being healthy - anyone knows I am, lately, quite under the weather. I blame the location. I was never sick up the other end of town. I think stressed environments are down where I am.  I am doing pilates - in a bid to learn how to stop and actually breathe. I find I forget to breathe sometimes... then wonder why I've suddenly gotten huffy and puffy. I hope this is amusing as opposed to concerned - don't worry, my brain does give me a kick up the butt when I forget. =)  I amuse myself... anyway.

I think I'm rambling.

2) I got myself some new toys! I retired Granpa and got a new laptop whom I have officially named walle. He kinda bleeps like him... well it was him or R2D2... and I am getting very close to changing his tones so he does sound like R2D2 - but I think I've just been watching too much star wars. Walle has a bin, and a hard drive... and a drive that is called Recover Walle - if he ever gets sick of dies on me.
My other new toy is a Canon 40D Digital SLR. It's new and fandangled and I wanted him for awhile - after I saw some of the amazing pictures that it can take from another blog. My dad was going overseas - so we were looking up whether it was worth him getting it - and I stumbled across this discount photography store - and it just so happened that T was a bit of a photography nut - so I could grill her about whether the camera was good or not. And I played with her camera (and P's - thanks!!!) , different model, same make - hers is smaller... but it sealed the deal, and it's here... and there are so many buttons and fancy things on it - I think I can't do the Gen Y thing and wing it - I think I actually have to read the damn manual. Of course, there isn't a disk in the camera - so I have to wait for R to get me one at the shops before I can do some real playing.  But now we have a decent camera, and I can go take pictures of Thai elephants!
Oh, and ok, maybe some "Us" pictures in Thailand - after all, I guess it's not every day you go overseas.
I can't wait to get a macro lens. But for now, I will play with my little lens and get my photography skills up to scratch. I'm quite pleased with my purchase - this camera will grow with me, and I reckon all I'll do is over time, invest in better lenses and get more disk space. Oh, and get myself a good camera bag to keep all my gear in.

3) Thailand, thailand. It seems all we have done is TALK about thailand - we booked it so long ago, that it seems surreal that it's only 12 days away - 9 working days (we're taking Friday off to pack and be all organised). I did some summer shopping on the weekend because I had a look at my dismal summer wardrobe and decided I needed an upgrade. Plus, the things you can wear in summer here - don't necessarily compute for 30 degrees with 98% humidity. Bleerrrgh. Why am I going to Thailand again? I was born in a country with that kind of weather -  I escaped and came here, where it's nice and cold. Ah well. We're in a beach resort - I'll spend most of my days in the water there, and it'll be fine.

I hope.

4) I got myself all organised! I am now the proud owner of a lovely wine rack. My cellar is in the bottom of my wardrobe... but I had been slowly but surely collecting wine bottles, and I figured it was about time I got myself a rack... and it was a good thing that R suggested I get the 24 instead of the 12 bottle - coz when I got home, I had a good chuckle at myself when I actually unearthed all the bottles of wine - to the tune of... "ohh... that's why that wine label looked so familiar in the store - it's coz I went to the winery and got myself a bottle!" I also got myself a magazine rack to keep all the lovely Gourmet Traveller magazines that R got me a subscription to and I have been happily chewing my way through. Though I have to say, I am a bit distressed - I have a ritual of talking post-it tags and noting all the recipes that I want to try or sound yum... and the magazines keep coming... and the tabs keep sticking and I'm finding there aren't enough hours in the day, nor days in the week, nor weeks in the month, nor months in the year to try them all out!

5) Other than that, I've been slowly reading through my book list - I'm averaging about a book a week, which R is rather impressed at, and I'm rather disappointed in myself at... I've been known to chew through a book in a day and a half (and sometimes less - depending on how easy it is) but I've been finding it hard to read lately. I've finished Atonement and Lolita and I've started on Anna Karenina, which I think I'll like best out of what I have read so far.
 
 
bjaded
10 August 2008 @ 07:21 pm
Lake House  
The lake house was glorious.  It wasn't so great booking it - I had pretty high expectations of their service when I sent in the booking online.... the spa people (came with the package) were so prompt, they pretty much had me all booked in for our weekend of indulgences within 3-4 hours of me sending in my booking. So I was a bit... "uhhhh... I am getting a room right? Coz I haven't heard from them yet!"

Anyway. So they had tried to book me in - took in my deposit and I still hadn't heard anything... and then I asked a question about the degustation - whether there was an option for those who are not wine-inclined... which set off the silly woman to try and book me into another package two hundred dollars less and without my massage OR spa... and no food! No THANK YOU. I want my package.

Needless to say, this is now 2 weeks in, and I'm getting pretty grr at them. They're suppose to be a five star, upper-class hoity-toity place, so I expect Service. And with a Smile. I ended up having to chase THEM for my booking.

Anyway. It all got sorted out finally - which I was glad for, coz I was already a little stressed - and I didn't really need any additions from them, considering this was my de-stress weekend.

We set off early on Saturday - made very good time, so we drove to the Lake House - asked if we could check in early - found that we couldn't... so we went back to Lavendula, a Swiss-Italian lavender farm, where R met the donkeys last time. Alas, no donkeys - just a lot of honking geese and a runaway chicken. And we didn't think to check the borrowed camera - so no pictures. =( We did have a lovely lunch snack - wine and hot chocolate with lovely warm bread with olives and olive oil... it was lovely. A bit hoity-toity for R, but even he enjoyed it.

Then back to the Lake House where we found out due to the confusion (read: stress!) we were upgraded to the suite!

See, I knew they could live up to my expectations of high service. =)

We ooh and ahhed (pictures to come) and then got ready for our pampering.  Salus were expecting us, so knew who we were - got us to change into robes, fed us mineral water and then off to our tree top spa. R, being R, of course didn't fit. I fit in fine. I got the fit of the munchies half way through our spa - we had left the window cracked open a little so we could see out into the tree tops - and I smelt Bacon. Mmmm. Then off to our massage - which I have to say was very thorough.

Don't get me wrong, I have a lovely massage therapist whom I go to quite regularly... but she's a lady. I had a male therapist - and he got into all the knots, some which I didn't even know I had. Needless to say, we were both pleased when the knots popped off like popcorn. I was a new lady walking out. =)

More chilling - we ordered our in room supper - and I cracked open my own copy of Atonement... so I ended up with two copies that weekend.... by that stage, I was STARVING - and wasn't quite sure why I had decided to order dinner at 7 as opposed to 630. Though I'd distract myself, so played with the camera and started taking some pictures.

Got a serious case of the munchies - and I forgot to pack any food! Since I was a goose who told them to bring dinner so late - we pottered off to get some from the store. Food soon came in a HUGE tray - we had soup (a huge jug, mind you - R didn't want any, so I was a pig and drank it all), a huge bowl of different kinds of bread, cold platter of proscuitto, sausage with garlic mash, cold chicken with pesto, pate (I think it was liver) and pork terrine (orangy and with pistachios) and a lovely hunk of blue cheese (which tasted like sheeps feet so I told R to save it for his dad - it is his favourite.. I don't know why. ;-) )  There was red and white wine (you could have one or the other, I asked for both - R wasn't going to have any!) And for dessert? Huge slices of chocolate and orange cake with dollops of cream. The orange cake was heavenly.

Sunday - we had buffet breakfast - the went off for a bit of a shop around. We weren't going to do so much exploring this time around - it was meant to be relaxing... though I'll confess, my idea of relaxing is to potter around for good produce and cook. But hey. I wanted to find a small goods place in Musk - they make their own bacon, proscuitto and salami, and I wanted to get some. We picked up a map on the way through town, and asked for directions to Musk - and though, pretty easy... it's a small town, probably on one stretch of road, how hard can it be?

We didn't find it.
We found a cute black and white pig with floppy ears - but R was too busy trying to get us back to Daylesford, he wouldn't stop for introductions. Pout.
We ended up stopping by the Sunday market - where I bought some honey, and we both got rained on and wet and muddy... then stopped at the Convent Gallery for a look around and a snack. The Convent was rather pretty - I quite liked some of the exhibits they had and the space was really lovely. I had a tea while R had a hot chocolate, and we both shared a rather yum garlic and cheese pizza. We were trying to not eat in lieu of our degustation dinner.

We stopped by the shops - I wanted to go back to the gallery/jeweller where I got some gorgeous jewellery last time - but no luck this time. Had a bit more of a wander... I managed to find some pretty pearl earrings - and we got something for R's grandma... R also bought himself some slime....

Then back home to make ourselves pretty - and then dinner!

Dinner, in one word, was sublime.
8 courses with a different wine at every course.
The cooking was superb, and the produce was heavenly. R... ate egg. I never in my life would have thought he would put a piece of egg in his mouth and say... "Hmmm, this isn't so bad, is it?"
And people wonder why I like food shopping and cooking so much. He tried raw tuna. I never thought I could convince him to touch raw tuna, let alone eat it.
And the pork. Oh the pork.

Everything was so beautifully presented - it was like a work of art. I wish I hadn't let R talk me into NOT bringing the camera - though I suppose it would have been a bit of an impasse... a romantic candle lit dinner - and here I was clicking away at the plate.
Anyway. Here's the menu:

Amuse Bouche (French Onion soup, in a wee cup)
La Goya Manzantella Sherry

Dressed tarte of Port Lincoln tuna, serrano jamon
Matassa Cuvee Nouge, 2004
(the serrano was divine! And this was my favourite wine.)

Crisp crumbed poached organic egg, preserved summer peppers
Huet 'Le Mont' Vouvray 2006
(Who'd a thought? Fried (literally! deep fried, not fried!) egg!)

Smoked Skipton eel in panchetta with shallot confit, warm salad of beets, horse radish cream
Le Segrieres Tajel Rose, 2006
(R wasn't brave enough for eel (he'll eat RAW tuna, but not smoked (cooked!) eel...???!) I wasn't complaining. More for me!)

Pork 'croustillants', fennel and trotter sauce
Simon Bize Bourgogne Pinot, 2006
("If I die right now, I'll be satisfied" - my famous last words after that pork. There are no words to describe it - no words needed. I would have licked the plate - if I hadn't already cleaned it as best I could, sopping the juices up with the pork...)

Pan seared wild barramundi, ragout of red wine braised ox tail
Chateau Ferran Pessac-Leognan 2005

Assiette of duck - duck consomme, roast duck breast, foie gras
Domaine Belle Crozes Hermitage 2005

Walnut gelato, roast quince, date 'cigar'
Domaine Schllmberger Pinot Gris 2000

Coffee and sweet indulgences from our bon bon trolley
(I was eyeing off that bon bon trolley from when we were seated. We had earl grey chocolates (r ate that... TEA!) honey popcorn (yum), peppermint marshmellow and peppermint turkish delight (though I wasn't sure either were peppermint!)

And did you notice? No beef or lamb or veal, or deer.... in the menu! I was expecting to have tohand it over to R and swap him for something - though I was willing to at least give it a try. Needless to say, after that dinner - we both rolled home... and giggled.
Needless to say, it is now my Life's Ambition to find all those wines. Well. Most of them anyway!

Monday. Breakfast again - and a bit sad... we made friends with the resident ducks and geese though - you should see how fast these birds can move when they see a brown paper bag - I think they know it's their signal. I didn't like the geese, we had met them the day before and one snapped at me in a bid to get at the bread. I fended them off with the umbrella - and the ducks, being smart, decided the best place they should be was behind me. I scolded and shooed them away and attempted to feed all the smaller birds in sight.
One duck loved me so much, he followed us almost all the way back to the suite - quacking and waddling as fast as his flippers could take him, all the way.
I think I am in love. =)

I miss the Lake House.
And their enormous cellar and produce. =)
 
 
Current Mood: dreamy
 
 
bjaded
08 July 2008 @ 08:33 pm
book list.  
I haven't been much of a reader lately... doing research tends to sap you of the feeling and mood you (well... I) need to read a new book. I have been kind of keeping a book list in post-it notes so I could actually go and borrow/find/buy some of the titles - but just haven't really found the time. So here are the ones I want to read but haven't had a chance lately.... but maybe I'll go get some before my weekend trip away.....

Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
Atonement - Ian McEwan
Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
The Hours - Michael Cunningham
Mrs Dalloway - Virginia Woolf


And now, here's what I found in a blog and thought a good idea.....

The Big Read reckons that the average adult has only read 6 of the top 100 books they’ve printed.

1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.

2) Italicize those you started but did not finish.

3) Underline the books you LOVE.

 

1. Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen

2. The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien

3. Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte

4. Harry Potter series - JK Rowling

5. To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee

6. The Bible

7. Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte

8. Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell

9. His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman

10. Great Expectations - Charles Dickens

11. Little Women - Louisa M Alcott

12. Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy

13. Catch 22 - Joseph Heller

14. Complete Works of Shakespeare

15. Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier

16. The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien

17. Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks

18. Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger

19. The Time Traveller's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger

20. Middlemarch - George Eliot

21. Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell

22. The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald

23. Bleak House - Charles Dickens

24. War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy

25. The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams

26. Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh

27. Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky

28. Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck

29. Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll

30. The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame

31. Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy

32. David Copperfield - Charles Dickens

33. Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis

34. Emma - Jane Austen

35. Persuasion - Jane Austen

36. The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis

37. The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini

38. Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres

39. Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden

40. Winnie the Pooh - Milne

41. Animal Farm - George Orwell

42. The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown

43. One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

44. A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving

45. The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins

46. Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery

47. Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy

48. The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood

49. Lord of the Flies - William Golding

50. Atonement - Ian McEwan

51. Life of Pi - Yann Martel

52. Dune - Frank Herbert

53. Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons

54. Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen

55. A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth

56. The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon

57. A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens

58. Brave New World - Aldous Huxley

59. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon

60. Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

61. Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck

62. Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov

63. The Secret History - Donna Tartt (But I like The Little Friend better.)

64. The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold

65. Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas

66. On The Road - Jack Kerouac

67. Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy

68. Bridget Jones' Diary - Helen Fielding

69. Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie

70. Moby Dick - Herman Melville

71. Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens

72. Dracula - Bram Stoker

73. The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett

74. Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson

75. Ulysses - James Joyce

76. The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath

77. Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome

78. Germinal - Emile Zola

79. Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray

80. Possession - AS Byatt

81. A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens

82. Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell

83. The Color Purple - Alice Walker

84. The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro

85. Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert

86. A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry

87. Charlotte's Web - EB White

88. The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom

89. Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

90. The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton

91. Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad

92. The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery

93. The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks

94. Watership Down - Richard Adams

95. A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole

96. A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute

97. The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas

98. Hamlet - William Shakespeare

99. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl

100. Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

37 most completed - out of 100... not TOO bad... I'm better than average, at least! =)
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Current Mood: sleepy
 
 
bjaded
04 July 2008 @ 04:02 pm
WFH and Food, Glorious Food...  
Why can't we (or I) work from home? 

There will be some of us who will say that they can't work from home... but I'm one of those who can. 

I've long lost all home of actually getting a sleep in - sleep ins for me now a days seems to be awake before nine.  But that's okay, coz I can get up, make myself a cup of tea, and for breakfast... a bacon and egg sandwich, with a naughty later of melted cheese. Yum. 

Pop a load of laundry in the fridge - get a second cup of tea... and then off to the shops to pick up some groceries. 

Now okay, you're wondering where the working part of WFH is. 

I get home from the shops and it's off for solid 3-4 hours of work... and then lunch and a cooking marathon. =P 
At this point, I am already ahead of schedule of all the things I need to get done today. I'm still researching, so it's a topic every two days (or three, depending) so I've already by this time completed my topic, and will start the reading and a bit of drafting of another topic in preparation for Monday (it has to be completed by Tuesday). 

So the cooking marathon:
Bolognese in preparation for trying out lasagna tomorrow and also for lunch in the week. 
Garlic prawns which are waiting for me to throw some fresh diced tomatoes, passata (tomato sauce) and pasta into it... or on its own with a bottle of bubbly, I can't decide (though I DID make the tomato sauce...). 
Raspberries soaked in vanilla de madagascar (liquer) with white chocolate lemon marscapone cream....  which I kinda made up, and am kinda pleased with. The cream is a bit on the cloying side from the white chocolate... but I think will be great with the tart raspberries.  and I may serve it with a mille-feuille "cracker"... However, verdict is still out whether it makes it into my "special" recipe book.
Triple chocolate hazelnut brownies... which I just rescued out of the oven! 

Oh. And apart from going to the shops - I spent most of today in my jim-jams!
Off to read about cloud computing now. I'll work pretty solidly till around 5-6 this evening, I reckon. 
It's nice to be home.
 
 
Current Mood: happy
 
 
bjaded
03 July 2008 @ 08:47 pm
some good quotes....  
... particularly for the place I am in right now.


"If we are too busy, if we are carried away every day by our projects, our uncertainty, our craving, how can we have the time to stop and look deeply into the situation-our own situation, the situation of our beloved one, the situation of our family and of our community, and the situation of our nation and of the other nations?”
~ Thich Nhat Hanh


"Always aim at complete harmony of thought and word and deed. Always aim at purifying your thoughts and everything will be well."
~ Mahatma Gandhi


“We can never obtain peace in the world if we neglect the inner world and don't make peace with ourselves. World peace must develop out of inner peace.”
~ Dalai Lama


"The human mind should be as calm as still water. Being calm, it will be tranquil. Being tranquil, it will be enlightened."
~ Shao Yong

"People travel to wonder at the height of mountains, at the huge waves of the sea, at the long courses of rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motion of the stars; and they pass by themselves without wondering.”
~ St Augustine


"Study the teachings of the pine tree, the bamboo, and the plum blossom. The pine is evergreen, firmly rooted, and venerable. The bamboo is strong, resilient, unbreakable. The plum blossom is hardy, fragrant, and elegant."
~ Morihei Ueshiba
The Art of Peace
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Current Mood: yet restless
 
 
bjaded
27 March 2008 @ 09:27 pm
critical  
I stay away from certain places on the net now - mostly social networking sites... coz though I'm a voyeur, and innately curious about people's lives... and like hunting through photos for them because people just don't exist their lives in words - a lot of the time I just find myself aggravated.

I guess I hold a lot in.

On a better note - I'm starting to write again. Still in dribs and drabs but that is probably partially because I'm feeling pretty exhausted lately and partially because work writing has sapped energy from me. But not long now till the project is delivered, and I'm looking forward to some time away next week... and having a bit of a long weekend again - I plan to bring the writing up with me and see how the quiet and being away from everything will go.
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Current Mood: dreaming about food....
 
 
bjaded
10 March 2008 @ 01:19 pm
A Rather Food-Centric Post.  
I've learnt something new - which is a good thing I suppose. I've learnt that it's actually HARDER to do an interview for people you know and work with, than doing it to complete strangers. There's more of an expectation, and it sent me jittery as I felt really really silly and self-conscious for saying things that they already know. I felt arrogant.

But after I left the interview on Friday, I got three calls (two from J and one from the manager) basically checking up on me and making sure that I'm okay. I must have looked really freaked out, though I did chill out once I got into the interview. I do get jittery before an interview, this is true, but I admit, I was a bit taken aback at how nervous I worked myself out to be.

Oh, and it's definitely harder to prepare, get yourself in the right mind-frame for an interview when you're actually working full time and you have deadlines. I suspect that didn't help any. My mind had been quite used to having at least three days of combined freaking-out stress-ness and sloth-like procrastination. =) Has to be something I gotta work on - because I suspect that jobs may come to me in this same form, where I've worked with people that are interviewing me, or it will be someone I know. And I won't have much time to prepare for it, given that I actually now have a job and I have Responsibilities. =)

I did get taken away from it all though, which is nice, so I didn't really have all that mindset to stew much over it. I had planned to head back down to the coast to do a bit of food touring on my part... and P came in with the goods to say that we should stay over at his house while we were down there as he had planned to do so.

(Which was good really, coz I was a bit worried about the ice cream!)

So R and I took a rather gentle meandering down towards P's house - we took the long way and went up to Arthur's Seat and had scones and drinks there, had a look at the maze but didn't go and then wandered down to a cider / winery but of course, it's closed till October. Was not pleased. I whinged and complained coz I had been looking forward to a spot of cider (and apparently French-styled, mine you... whatever that means) and so we rolled the dice and substitute another stop over at another winery. I did a wine tasting, R found a corner and looked at a wine region map - and as I made a choice, I find him outside with a great big fluffy blonde and chestnut border collie playing fetch with her rather slobby tyre.

Was rather taken by her, she was very well trained and very polite. R was in love and declared that the only wineries I could frequent at for tastings was if there were fluffy dogs for him to play with.

By this time, I was feeling rather pleasantly relaxed and feeling the effects of not having any lunch.

Off to my favourite wine place - where I was tickled to the toes by a rather lovely oldish man who served us and fuddled his way through exactly what the wine was.... I think I might have thrown off his speech coz I didn't really want to taste everything again, I was just interested in any of the new stuff they had. I was further tickled in the toes when I tasted a red wine which had been combined with muscat grapes, so it was red winey and then sweet at the same time. A bit of a brain fart, but rather irresistible.

By this time R was developing a habit of saying he wasn't hungry or didn't want to taste anything, but later looking at you like a seagull.

R caved (even though he was insistent he didn't want a retaste) and we both had a taste of their bubbly - which was still effervescent like apple sherbet and watermelon zing. He was quite generous with it... and I got what I came for + extras. I'm rather proud now, the last trip I had walked away with half a box (to put my wines in), one of which was Juliet, and this trip, I completed the box, and got Romeo. =) Romeo and Juliet (plus the three bottles of Apple Sherbet and Watermelon Zing) are currently living in my closet. =)

By this time I got the spot of the giggles... toe-curling wine does that to you, you know... and we went off to the strawberry farm where I insisted that needed food of some sort and settled for devonshire tea, complete with PROPER jam and cream (unlike the last place). R insisted he didn't want anything, and proceeded to eat one of my two scones. Hmmmph.

We went raspberry picking instead, and I picked up probably way more ice cream than I should - but some Seagull would eat it all in one go... so I figured I would need extra.

Stopped for apples at a farm - was hoping for a rarer variety but ended up with galas which is okay coz I like them. They did look a bit dull, till I clued in and realised that shiny apples in the store are because they are waxed. Very tasty though.

Then off to P's house - where we then went to see a secret hidey rockpool that required some major rock climbing to get to - but very pretty... if albeit cold. Lots of rather tame fish that dared to come right up to your toes. Some considered nibbling on R's toes - but stayed a little away from my red-polished one, though did come up to investigate. (Think R's legs looked a bit like a rock with floating blonde moss.... )

Stopped by another rock pool and then it was shower and off for dinner.

Rounded off the trip on Sunday with another beach trip in the morning and of course R became a seagull again when I started nibbling on snacks... of course he insisted he didn't need to eat anything, even if he had no breakfast and we were going for a swim.

And here I sit, rather sloth like dreaming about food. =)
 
 
Current Mood: relaxed
 
 
bjaded
04 March 2008 @ 12:26 am
sigh.  
...you know how sometimes you meet your friend's partner and you go away thinking - gosh why them? And you often can't shake the funny feeling that this new person will really change the friend you know... and not necessarily in a good way, and you can already see simmerings of that?

Well.
So this post could be about several people really.

Anyway. So you try one of two things. You either try and get to know them and they eventually warm to them. Or you don't.

Inevitably, to save the friendship, and because, really, it's none of your business who your friend dates or sees.... you just eventually resign yourself to the fact.

Okay, okay, so deep down inside you kinda hope things change for the better in a three ways -
1) they break up,
2) your friend realises that the relationship won't work and he/she deserves better and they don't continue dating... okay they break up
3) you realise it's only a mild honeymoon type thing and things settle down and your friend goes back to being the old them.

(by the way, I should note that if you can access this post and you are one of the more regular readers - this post will most certainly not be about you)

If you're lucky - you get Option 3.

Most of the time, I don't get any of the profferred (read - dream only) solutions. Don't get me wrong, most generally are okay... and I'm not trying to condone the fact that I'm the Supreme Ruler of all Supreme Rulers and that all dating decisions should go through me.....
Okay, yes they should... but that's beside the point. =)

I understand that some people just won't click with me. I've made peace with that, and I've resigned myself to the fact that there is much stupidity in the world, and I'm not going to like all of the world, all of the time. Much as it is human nature to want everyone to like you and to like everyone in return.

Or at least, try.

But I think it's a known fact that some people just bring out the worse in other people.

And therefore, is it so wrong to wish your friend with someone more deserving?

Nevertheless, the point of this post is that I have resigned myself to the fact that after observing some actions of the couple(s) in flagrant delicto (no, not literally) have lead me to believe that maybe it's not so bad and maybe it could turn out okay. And maybe this person will warm to me even more, even if there are still a few things that really bother me about them - but maybe that's okay, as long as said friend is happy.

Still. It's something to rant about, anyway, when I'm suppose to be sleeping! \

What a ramble!
 
 
Current Mood: cheerful
 
 
bjaded
28 January 2008 @ 08:31 pm
 
some of you will be happy to note that I'm writing again.

well, sort of.

Going back to a "normal" routine as of tomorrow - and I find myself a bit anxious and a little on the sad side.

Suspect that I'm not looking forward to the commute - as it is awfully far away from things that I miss... favourite stores, a park to sit in for lunch, and the people. I guess, despite my outward introvertness, I don't really like to be away from people. That is, people I want to be with. =) Of course, this triggers a myraid of thoughts - I have had a few work related issues before the "holiday"... but I managed quite successfully to distract myself away from them what with running around for X'mas, and then New Years around the corner - I didn't really have much time for thinking, let alone pensiveness.

I'm hoping that things will work out at this placement, and I'll be able to stay on longer - if only till February, when I hope things will become a little more clearer and I can avoid going back to the home placement (lets call it B). Before Xmas, I got the decided gut feeling that told me I was going to be dicked around, if not made a pseudo-adminstrative assistant. Some of you will probably already know that I was none too pleased there towards the end, even if I had a pretty nice start. The people, individually, those that I came to know anyway, were nice, but that is all that I can recommend them, anyway.

The senior manager who I am currently reporting to, is all propriety and niceness, but I can't help but feel uneasy for it - like I'm being petted enough and calmed enough for slaughter. I am even more concerned that they don't really have a position for me - and on the one hand I would, theoretically, carve a place out for myself, on the other, I'm being told in very few words that I am to report to the senior manager, not the middle managers, by whom I would be actually doing work for. In effect, a very uncomfortable role for all around. Feeling as though they don't really know what to do with me - is further worrisome by the fact that I'm not the only one feeling this, my HR rep expressed her worries all the same. What I would like is a clear outlining of roles and responsibilities and at the very least, a job title - something which seems so elusive to them, considering that in any case, if this was a position to be advertised, they would have to have the necessary paperwork for it!
My one hope at the moment is in M coming through with something for me - it is my ideal job... I have discovered, I love researching and I especially love knowing that I'm contributing and helping, at least, to grow the IT industry, in terms of learning of IT trends, and in some aspects - getting to play with them. Being where I am at the moment, is the same work, I do enjoy it. Where other place can you say, guilt-free, that you can watch television shows or play games as "research"?? They are going through a major restructure and I have been cautioned (so to speak) to not expect anything till February... which I know, realistically, isn't that far away.

But such is my dislike for returning to B - that I'm hoping I get retained longer at my current placement. Amongst other things, I would like to see the project out... at the very least. I guess I'm just desperate not to go back.
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bjaded
03 January 2008 @ 07:57 pm
here's my other want...  
... tarte tatin pans.

they make yummy apple pie - something which I've been wanting to try - and they also make good pommes anna - which is a kind of potato pancake, just layers of thin potato seasoned with pepper and salt - the starch is what holds it all together.  I tried it the other night, with a little addition of cheese and bacon in the middle using a cake tin. It was yum - but a little too crisp as the pan was too deep and also it didn't turn out because of this. =(

so here's a good site
http://www.strategium.co.uk/tatin.html

 and here's apparently a good maker of the pans
http://www.alansilverwood.co.uk/id43.html

I had to google them to get a proper visual of what a tatin pan SHOULD look like.  I like the mini ones.

If anyone has seen them - let me know. I am sure there are variations out there of cake pans and tart pans which may look similar, but they have to be robust enough to sit on a stove - as sugar and butter needs to be caramelised before being put into the oven. I agree that Hard Anodised pans are the best (as with the above site) but I have heard that cast iron could also be used, or even a shallow fry pan - as long as the fry pan can be put into the oven.

Ah well, here's hoping I find it soon. =)
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Current Mood: baking-addled
 
 
bjaded
03 January 2008 @ 07:31 pm
I am going to attempt the impossible....  
... chocolate souffle.


Woe betides me if it doesn't rise above my desired expectations - like scones.

But. I will attempt it, when I get the chance and obtain some cream of tartare.

I haven't been able to find a good singular souffle recipe though - I suspect that you aren't meant to indulge in just one.... most recipes makes for six, and while most recipes it is easily adaptable, I find a lot of trouble with eggs in sweet recipes. I do have one in my book that I will probably likely attempt - though I did have a look on the internet to see if I could find a small recipe and thus easily (egg-wise anyway) to half again to make 1-2 which is also cited from a cook/show I know.

This one makes two
http://www.cookingforengineers.com/recipe/160/Dark-Chocolate-Souffle
and is the most promising... given that I can half everything and thus make a tester. =)

Though, do give me a yell if you happen across a recipe in your cookbooks.
I'm a bit snobby that way, about my recipes.

I'm curious as to whether it will taste anything like soft-centered chocolate pudding I make, just perhaps more airy? I haven't actually had souffle before.




 
 
Current Mood: chocolate-addled
 
 
bjaded
30 December 2007 @ 12:26 am
note to self  
http://speedtest.10-fast-fingers.com/

Approximately 85 words per minute. could be faster, if I had working c key and a y key that wasn't so stiff.
tis fun though!
 
 
bjaded
28 December 2007 @ 03:29 pm
a bit of a quote hoarder.  
Reevaluate everything you have been told... dismiss that which insults your soul.
- Walt Whitlam
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Current Mood: exhausted
 
 
bjaded
21 December 2007 @ 12:48 am
grrrrrrrrrrrrrr  
I was planning an "all nighter" of work - but I realised that I have to return a library book.

I wouldn't... but the next time I'm back at work is in the new year, so I figure I better. =S

Ah well. I'll do some work on the train - it's mostly reading... and maybe I'll figure out the X'mas dinner I'm suppose to be making and do some shopping for that.

Still.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

This was not what I had planned! I don't want to go into the city. I wanted to sleep in! I don't want to go to work!
Grrr!

Tis my fault - I was all up-ended with my crazy week and I'm all out of sorts still from it all.

Grrrrrrrr.
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Current Mood: cranky
 
 
bjaded
03 December 2007 @ 07:42 pm
Looking After One of Our Own  
It's heartening to find people who are meant  to be doing their job.

A bonus are those who are a perfect fit for their role.
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Current Mood: chipper
 
 
bjaded
29 November 2007 @ 08:46 pm
Romance is...  
Moonlight and roses turns into daylight and dishes....
...overcooked peas and dirty socks.




So you better like the person you're with!
 
 
Current Mood: cheerful
 
 
bjaded
20 November 2007 @ 07:42 pm
HA! We're not so bad!  

November 20, 2007 - 11:50AM

Take a feminist out to dinner.

That's the advice of a social psychologist who concludes in a new study that feminists make better partners and have stronger romantic relationships.

Laurie Rudman of Rutgers University had found in earlier research that negative stereotypes of feminists - that they're unattractive, man-hating lesbians, in a nutshell - cause young adults to distance themselves from the "F-word" and tone down their demands for equality.

A majority of college-age respondents agreed with such statements as "Most men would probably not want to date a feminist" and "Romance depends, in part, on men being allowed to be in charge."

This was alarming to Rudman, who is old enough to remember the heyday of the women's rights movement in the 1970s. Continued efforts to achieve gender equality could be seriously hurt, she reasoned, if women (and men) think it comes at the expense of love.

So, with the help of graduate student Julie Phelan, she set about trying to determine if there was any truth to the notion that feminists are more likely than traditional women to have crummy relationships.

The results, appearing in the online edition of the peer-reviewed journal Sex Roles, show that for both women and men there was a benefit to having a feminist partner. Feminist women were also more likely than others to be in a romantic relationship.

"If you're a woman paired with a male feminist," said Rudman, "you have a healthier relationship across the board" - better in terms of relationship quality, equality, stability and sexual satisfaction.

"And men paired with female feminists have greater sexual satisfaction and greater relationship stability," she said. "So, (there were) higher scores on two of the four dimensions, with no difference on the other two."

There you have it: Feminists are sexy.

"Contrary to popular beliefs, feminism does not disrupt men's pleasure in the bedroom," said Rudman.

That makes perfect sense to counsellors like Gina Ogden, who says "the cultural missionary position - man on top" isn't conducive to romance.

"If a relationship is based on authoritarian control, keeping one person on top and the other underneath, it gets old pretty fast - for both partners, really," said Ogden, a Boston sex therapist who surveyed 3,810 people for her book The Heart and Soul of Sex.

"In an egalitarian relationship, there is more flow of give and take," she said, "and that's the romantic tension. That tension - the sexual desire - is in that space between you where you're able to flow back and forth."

In her experience, said Ogden, "where there's caring, sharing, openness and honesty, sexual satisfaction increases. It not only feels good now, but it is likely to get better and better as you age."

For the study, the Rutgers researchers designed two surveys, one for college students in the laboratory and the other an online questionnaire for older adults.

The subjects - 513 students and 471 adults aged 18-65 recruited online - were asked how they felt about career women and whether they considered themselves feminists. They were also asked about their partners' feminist identity and attitudes.

Not surprisingly, feminism scores among the subjects were tepid. The mean for women in the college group was 6.2 on a 10-point scale, and the mean for men was only 4.9. (The men's average score was slightly higher in the older, online group.)

Next, they were asked a series of questions intended to get at four measures of relationship health: quality (for example, "How often do you and your partner laugh together?"), equality ("How often do you and your partner disagree about your role in the relationship?"), stability ("How often do you think about finding another partner?") and sexual satisfaction ("How often have you considered having a sexual relationship with someone other than your partner?").

As for the notion that strong, independent women can't get a date, Rudman and Phelan asked the subjects about their sexual orientation, whether they were currently in a relationship, and how attractive they thought they were ("I seem to be very popular with the opposite sex").

It turned out that self-identified feminists were no more likely to be homosexual or to consider themselves unattractive, Rudman said: "There's zero correlation." And they actually had a better chance of having a romantic partner.

"There goes the spinster idea," said Rudman. "If you're a feminist, men are slightly more likely to want to be in a relationship with you."

MCT

http://www.theage.com.au/news/relationships/feminists-make-better-wives-study/2007/11/20/1195321743204.html

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bjaded
20 November 2007 @ 06:22 am
 

Intention is not relevant. Conflict arises from the effect of behaviour, not what was intended.

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bjaded
02 November 2007 @ 09:28 pm
article  
Life’s Work

The Feminine Critique

By LISA BELKIN
Published: November 1, 2007

DON’T get angry. But do take charge. Be nice. But not too nice. Speak up. But don’t seem like you talk too much. Never, ever dress sexy. Make sure to inspire your colleagues — unless you work in Norway, in which case, focus on delegating instead.

Writing about life and work means receiving a steady stream of research on how women in the workplace are viewed differently from men. These are academic and professional studies, not whimsical online polls, and each time I read one I feel deflated. What are women supposed to do with this information? Transform overnight? And if so, into what? How are we supposed to be assertive, but not, at the same time?

“It’s enough to make you dizzy,” said Ilene H. Lang, the president of Catalyst, an organization that studies women in the workplace. “Women are dizzy, men are dizzy, and we still don’t have a simple straightforward answer as to why there just aren’t enough women in positions of leadership.”

Catalyst’s research is often an exploration of why, 30 years after women entered the work force in large numbers, the default mental image of a leader is still male. Most recent is the report titled “Damned if You Do, Doomed if You Don’t,” which surveyed 1,231 senior executives from the United States and Europe. It found that women who act in ways that are consistent with gender stereotypes — defined as focusing “on work relationships” and expressing “concern for other people’s perspectives” — are considered less competent. But if they act in ways that are seen as more “male” — like “act assertively, focus on work task, display ambition” — they are seen as “too tough” and “unfeminine.”

Women can’t win.

In 2006, Catalyst looked at stereotypes across cultures (surveying 935 alumni of the International Institute for Management Development in Switzerland) and found that while the view of an ideal leader varied from place to place — in some regions the ideal leader was a team builder, in others the most valued skill was problem-solving. But whatever was most valued, women were seen as lacking it.

Respondents in the United States and England, for instance, listed “inspiring others” as a most important leadership quality, and then rated women as less adept at this than men. In Nordic countries, women were seen as perfectly inspirational, but it was “delegating” that was of higher value there, and women were not seen as good delegators.

Other researchers have reached similar conclusions. Joan Williams runs the Center for WorkLife Law, part of the University of California Hastings College of the Law in San Francisco. She wrote the book “Unbending Gender” and she, too, has found that women are held to a different standard at work.

They are expected to be nurturing, but seen as ineffective if they are too feminine, she said in a speech last week at Cornell. They are expected to be strong, but tend to be labeled as strident or abrasive when acting as leaders. “Women have to choose between being liked but not respected, or respected but not liked,” she said.

While some researchers, like those at Catalyst and WorkLife Law, tend to paint the sweeping global picture — women don’t advance as much as men because they don’t act like men — other researchers narrow their focus.

Victoria Brescoll, a researcher at Yale, made headlines this August with her findings that while men gain stature and clout by expressing anger, women who express it are seen as being out of control, and lose stature. Study participants were shown videos of a job interview, after which they were asked to rate the applicant and choose their salary. The videos were identical but for two variables — in some the applicants were male and others female, and the applicant expressed either anger or sadness about having lost an account after a colleague arrived late to an important meeting.

The participants were most impressed with the angry man, followed by the sad woman, then the sad man, and finally, at the bottom of the list, the angry woman. The average salary assigned to the angry man was nearly $38,000 while the angry woman received an average of only $23,000.

When the scenario was tweaked and the applicant went on to expand upon his or her anger — explaining that the co-worker had lied and said he had directions to the meeting — participants were somewhat forgiving, giving women who explained their anger more money than those who had no excuse (but still less money than comparative men).

Also this summer, Linda C. Babcock, an economics professor at Carnegie Mellon University, looked at gender and salary in a novel way. She recruited volunteers to play Boggle and told them beforehand that they would receive $2 to $10 for their time. When it came time for payment, each participant was given $3 and asked if that was enough.

Men asked for more money at eight times the rate of women. In a second round of testing, where participants were told directly that the sum was negotiable, 50 percent of women asked for more money, but that still did not compare with 83 percent of men. It would follow, Professor Babcock concluded, that women are equally poor at negotiating their salaries and raises.

There are practical nuggets of advice in all this data. Don’t be shy about negotiating. If you blow your stack, explain (or try). “Some of what we are learning is directly helpful, and tells women that they are acting in ways they might not even be aware of, and that is harming them and they can change,” said Peter Glick, a psychology professor at Lawrence University in Appleton, Wis.

He is the author of one such study, in which he showed respondents a video of a woman wearing a sexy low-cut blouse with a tight skirt or a skirt and blouse that were conservatively cut. The woman recited the same lines in both, and the viewer was either told she was a secretary or an executive. Being more provocatively dressed had no effect on the perceived competence of the secretary, but it lowered the perceived competence of the executive dramatically. (Sexy men don’t have that disconnect, Professor Glick said. While they might lose respect for wearing tight pants and unbuttoned shirts to the office, the attributes considered most sexy in men — power, status, salary — are in keeping with an executive image at work.)

But Professor Glick also concedes that much of this data — like his 2000 study showing that women were penalized more than men when not perceived as being nice or having social skills — gives women absolutely no way to “fight back.” “Most of what we learn shows that the problem is with the perception, not with the woman,” he said, “and that it is not the problem of an individual, it’s a problem of a corporation.”

Ms. Lang, at Catalyst, agreed. This accumulation of data will be of value only when companies act on it, she said, noting that some are already making changes. At Goldman Sachs, she said, the policy on performance reviews now tries to eliminate bias. A red flag is expected to go up if a woman is described as “having sharp elbows or being brusque,” she said. “The statement should not just stand,” she said. “Examples should be asked for, the context should be considered, would the same actions be cause for comment if it was a man?”

In fact, Catalyst’s next large project is to advise companies on ways they can combat stereotypical bias. And Professor Glick has some upcoming projects, too. One looks at whether women do better in sales if they show more cleavage. A second will look at the flip side of gender stereotypes at work: hostility toward men.

 
 
Current Mood: satisfied